Sweat & Smiles: Give up Quest for Control and Live Life by Being Gas Pedal and Not the Steering Wheel
By Melissa Romano on April 28, 2018 from Sweat & Smiles
At retreats we always discuss our agreements. These are stories we’ve been telling ourselves like: I’m lazy, I’m not good with money, I’m not a morning person.
Agreements we made with ourselves somewhere along the way that we didn’t mean to. Our goal is to identify the agreement, where the belief came from, heal it, and come up with a new agreement to move forward. Last year while working on a rough draft of new agreements I 
wrote “focus only on that which I can control”. As I sat there staring at that sentence I realized that everything I can control was practically nothing at all. I scratched out the sentence and moved on only to have it keep popping back up again and again.
wrote “focus only on that which I can control”. As I sat there staring at that sentence I realized that everything I can control was practically nothing at all. I scratched out the sentence and moved on only to have it keep popping back up again and again.
I had no way to describe what to do instead of trying to control because I didn’t realize what the opposite was until recently. Faith. The opposite of control is faith.
As I looked at how I was participating in my own life I imagined me trying to control things was similar to holding on to the steering wheel. I’d grip the steering wheel tightly and try to navigate what I felt was the best way avoiding the things coming at me or swerving towards the direction I wanted to go. What I saw was that by being the steering wheel I could only sit in the exact same spot moving out of the way of things but I wasn’t actually moving forward.
If I were say, the gas pedal, I could always focus on moving forward. But I couldn’t be both the steering wheel and the gas pedal. As the steering wheel I’d have to work extra hard and never actually get anywhere. As the gas pedal I could move forward and let faith handle the steering wheel. But I couldn’t do both.
I believe that trying to control everything that happens to you, your loved ones, your children is what “kills” people long before they ever die. You spend all of your time analyzing what’s next and over analyzing what’s already happened.
Carefully planning and orchestrating things that have so many working parts you’ll never be able to keep up. Constantly missing everything that’s right in front of you. Missing the opportunity to be the shoulder for someone because you’re busy trying to control what’s happening to them. Missing the opportunity to bear witness to some of life’s greatest lessons because you’re trying to prevent them or yourself from any kind of pain. Missing the moments that are unraveling before your eyes because you’re looking at what you “have” to do next to get everything “right”.
I don’t know many people who don’t talk about their faith, or know that they have it. What I want to see more of is people living it. My new agreement is to be the gas pedal, not the steering wheel. You cannot control anything that is not inside of you so hand over the steering wheel and keep moving forward.
Sweat & Smiles,
Melissa
Editor's Note: Melissa (Romano) Robbins is the founder of You First a personal training program created because of a strong belief that the greatest investment you can make is in yourself! After graduating from West Virginia Wesleyan College she completed 200+ hours to obtain her Professional Certificate of Personal Fitness Training from Pierpont Community College. Since 2009 she has worked full-time as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and wellness coach. She believes in functional fitness, healthy lifestyle changes and a holistic approach to a better, happier life. She was born and raised in Clarksburg and is married to Bridgeport native Alan Robbins, owner of First University baseball facility. Alan and Melissa welcomed their son, Cannon in September 2015. Visit Melissa's Web site at https://youfirst.fitness/ or email her at melissa@youfirst.fitness.
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