Connect Bridgeport
Ad
FacebookTwitterInstagramYouTubeRSS
  • Home
  • News
  • Sports
  • Community
    • Community News
    • Anniversaries
    • Announcements
    • Arts & Entertainment
    • Calendar
    • Churches
    • Clubs & Organizations
    • Directory
    • Farmer's Market
    • File Complaint
    • Greeting Cards
    • Library
    • Lost And Found
    • Obituaries
    • Parks & Recreation
    • Sponsorships
  • Trading Post
    • For Sale
    • Local Deals
    • Services
    • Yard Sales
  • Visitors
  • Relocation
  • Education
  • Jobs
  • Alumni

Sweat & Smiles: The Importance of Changing Difficult and Unidentified Roadblock in Yourself - You

By Melissa Romano on July 25, 2020 from Sweat & Smiles

One of the most difficult, yet unidentified roadblocks to changing yourself (and that is an all encompassing habits, behaviors… you) are the people in your life. And not in the way you’re thinking. People don’t prevent you from changing just because they are not changing with you or walking in the same direction. It’s because, as humans, we don’t historically leave people room to grow. That goes for others not leaving you room to grow and yourself not leaving room for others to grow. 
 
This disconnect begins because you, like everyone else, have trained your brain to “fill in the blanks” of life. You have become a mindreader convinced that you know exactly what everyone else is thinking and meaning. You judge each experience based on past experiences. So as you begin to change behaviors, habits, and yourself you will find that everyone around you still engages and reacts with all of their past experiences with you.
 
Frustrating, right?
 
It’s like when your parents still view you as and angry seventeen your old (or is that just me?!). Or if your partner still views you as the person you were when you first met but since having children, a career, or great loss you view the world differently. Maybe your friends have said so many times “you are always the one that…” so many times that you feel as thought you must fulfill that role. As the people around you are engaging and reacting to you as the habits, behaviors, and person you were before it makes it much easier to slide right back into those old patterns. Then you are frustrated with them and frustrated with yourself.
 
The first thing you can do to roll right on through this roadblock is bring your awareness to it. It’s difficult and by difficult I mean impossible to find solutions to a problem you aren’t fully aware of or are identifying it as something else. This means dropping your mind reading and entering into each new experience without judgement and if it is the very first time. This leaves room for others to grow and shows them how you will engage. This means showing yourself and others grace because you have spent years if not your entire life building and practices those old habits, behaviors, and patterns. Growth is not a short straight road - it is a long, steep, lots-of-switch-backs, rough-terrain trail.
 
Be patient and gentle with yourself and others as you practice these new ways of being. It is okay if the people in your circle are not traveling the same road, as long as they are stopping you from walking yours. That means that sometimes when people are stunting us from moving forward, growing, and changing that it is okay to ask for space. It is okay to ask for room to grow. If that space can’t be provided it’s okay to distance yourself. You can love and cherish them from afar until you are ready. 
 
Once you are aware then you can begin to build your support system. This doesn’t mean replacing your existing people or your existing support system - this means expanding upon it. Expand the way you even consider befriending others. Look for the teachers, coaches, counselors, guides that are building a support system of people and inviting you to find your own space and you own answers.
 
Right now more than ever you have the ability to find friends, support systems, groups, and people that have space for you to grow. Use the resources you have. Use your social media to create space and support - delete and unfollow accounts that helped perpetuate the old patterns. Follow and find those that support the new habits, behaviors, and patterns.
 
Don’t stunt your growth just to maintain the role you’ve been playing. Give yourself room to grow.
 
Melissa
www.melissaromano.com
 

Share

Leave a Comment
Login or register

Leave a Comment

Log in or create an account to post a comment.

Sign up/stay connected

Create your profile to start adding photos, posting comments, and more.

SIGN UP

Ad
Ad
Ad

Blogs [ view all ]

  • Photo

    From the Bench: Why 5 State Titles Not C...

    With all due respect to Jon Griffith, winning five state championships in two different sports during a run of coachin...

    Posted by Jeff Toquinto

  • Photo

    Time Travel: Former City Police Officer ...

    This is a photo of the late Watler "Bud" Hartzell who many knew from his time as a car salesman at Harry Gr...

    Posted by Dick Duez

  • Photo

    ToquiNotes: The Closure of One of Harris...

    The sign was depressing, even though it was not there the following day. It was not anything fancy; rather it was simp...

    Posted by Jeff Toquinto

  • Photo

    It's Happening: 2020 in Review

    At the recent meeting of Bridgeport Rotary, I shared a synopsis of 2020 here in Bridgeport. I scrolled through stories...

    Posted by Julie Perine

  • Photo

    Off the Shelf: Books from New Netflix Ro...

    Netflix debuted a romance series based on the books of Julia Quinn at Christmas.  It turned out to be one of their mo...

    Posted by Sharon Saye

  • Photo

    The Grapevine: Generations of Family in ...

    A highlight for the new year, 2021, was the swearing in of my grandson, Ben Queen, as a member of the West Virginia House...

    Posted by Rosalyn Queen

  • Photo

    Sweat & Smiles: The Importance of Beginn...

    I’ve been a certified personal trainer, teaching group fitness classes, and teaching yoga for 11 years. One thing that...

    Posted by Melissa Romano

  • Photo

    Healthy Faces: Meet Perris Oliverio Reed

    "Healthy Bridgeport" is comprised of health-concious individuals; the same group that served as the steering committee for...

    Posted by Julie Perine

  • Photo

    City Faces in Different Places

    This week's Bridgeport City Face is Amy Reinhart. Meet her here!    How long have you lived in Bridg...

    Posted by Julie Perine

Calendar [ view all ]

Thu
21

Lions Club Meeting

Apr
28

DigiMarCon At Home 2021 - Digital Marketing, Media and Advertising Conference

May
26

DigiMarCon South 2021 - Digital Marketing, Media and Advertising Conference & Exhibition

 



Bridgeport, WV
Editorial Board Advertise Privacy Policy Contact Us
FacebookTwitterInstagramYouTubeRSS

©2014 Connect Bridgeport.